Four Teams
by Racke
Summary: The Genin 12 all graduated in the same year; thus, they were all separated into different teams. Sakura is professional, Hinata wears sunglasses, Ino is NOT crushing, Tenten battles Konoha's insanity, and Kiba hates everyone.
1. Chapter 1

Four Teams ch 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

XXX

Naruto Uzumaki entered the academy with a beaming grin that could probably have outshone the sun, and a gleaming hitai-ate on his forehead.

Hinata noted this with adoration, Sasuke and Neji barely noted this at all, Shikamaru was sleeping and as such _didn't_ note this at all, Tenten didn't note this either due to being busy with her kunai, Chouji and Kiba noted this with surprise, Rock Lee noted this with joy, and Sakura and Ino noted this with annoyance.

Naruto Uzumaki had passed the genin exam. Despite failing the tests on the previous day. The tests that even Rock Lee had _barely_ scraped by on.

There were some commotion as a few expressed their disbelief of Naruto's presence, however it ended without incident.

Then it became time to be separated into teams.

XXX

"So, does anyone have any requests?" Sarutobi asked, mildly curious.

"Uchiha Sasuke." Came Kakashi's deadpan voice.

"Rock Lee!" Came Gai's enthusiastic voice.

"Akimichi Chouji." Asuma nodded.

"Yamanaka Ino." Kurenai added.

The Hokage frowned as he pondered this. Sasuke would be Kakashi's, obviously. Lee would be Gai's equally obviously. But what of the Ino-Shika-Chou trio? Without Ino, it couldn't really be done. That might cause some friction if there wasn't a good reason. Best to make sure there was one available.

"Asuma, Kurenai, explain."

Asuma blinked. "I'd like to make a protection squad." He stated in all seriousness.

_That_ was unusual, and Sarutobi found his eyebrows climbing as he studied his son.

"You wish to create a specialized squad from genin?" He finally asked for clarification.

Asuma nodded. "I have experience in that particular field, and I feel that it would be useful to have such a team. Getting to them at genin is just the logical step."

Grabbing his pipe, the Hokage mulled on this for a moment, before nodding. "Your desire has been noted, and shall be considered." He turned to the kunoichi who'd requested Ino. "And you?" It'd be a lot easier to deal with the three clans if _both_ the teachers had a good reason for splitting them up, after all.

"I wish to make an infiltration squad." Kurenai explained, seemingly uncomfortable with being the center of attention, but dealing with it nonetheless.

"Two specialized squads?" Sarutobi frowned. This wasn't how these things usually went. Normally they just bunched up a couple of brats who might work, and hoped that they wouldn't kill each other before the chunin exams. This sounded an awful lot like a revolution towards the previous system. "Or, am I to believe that you two also wishes to specialize your squads?" He turned to the first two who'd spoken up.

Kakashi tilted his head, apparently considering this.

"Making a 'track and destroy'-team might help in keeping the Uchiha in line." He noted absently.

This _was_ a revolution! Dammit! He was getting too old for these things!

"And you, Gai?" He dreaded the idea of Gai teaching his team how to infiltrate things, if only because of all the spectacular failures their missions would turn into, and the resulting paperwork of such failures. Otherwise, the thought was somewhat amusing.

"If my rival is making a specialized team, then I Maito Gai, shall prove my Youthfulness by also making a specialized team!" He paused as he seemed to think more about what kind of specialization he could help such a squad of genin with, before grinning wildly and doing the Nice Guy pose. "I shall make a combat squad!"

Sarutobi breathed a sigh of relief. That shouldn't give him too much paperwork, and since they'd all taken different fields to study, there was a decent chance of actually making this whole arrangement work. Lovely.

"So, with your specializations in mind, how do you suggest that we divide the remaining genin?" He asked them.

As long as they didn't force him to think too much about all of this, and didn't cause any untold amounts of paperwork, he didn't care even if they turned them all into _ballerinas_.

XXX

"Team 7 will consist of: Uchiha Sasuke, Inuzuka Kiba, and Hyuuga Neji. Your sensei will be Hatake Kakashi." Iruka droned on, ignoring the disappointment of the fangirls as they lost both of their targets.

"Team 8 will consist of: Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Uzumaki Naruto. Your sensei will be Kurenai Yuuhi." Shikamaru blinked, startled at being separated from his friend, as Ino started screeching like a harpy about being stuck with the lazy-ass and the idiot.

"Team 9 will consist of: Rock Lee, Hyuuga Hinata, and Tenten. Your sensei will be Maito Gai." Iruka continued, ignoring whatever the little brats were shouting across the classroom.

"Team 10 will consist of: Akimichi Chouji, Aburame Shino, and Haruno Sakura. Your sensei will be Sarutobi Asuma." Iruka wrapped up, smiling happily. "I wish you all good luck."

Then Iruka did the brave and noble thing. He turned tail and fled from the frustratingly annoying brats who'd just managed to graduate and that he'd hopefully never be required to teach ever again.

This basically meant that the children were left to their own devices.

Naruto shrugged and went to greet Shikamaru, decisively ignoring Ino in the process. Chouji left Shikamaru to 'introduce' himself to his new teammates. Shikamaru buried his head in his arms and decided to take a nap. Ino screeched even louder.

Shino sat contently where he was, and Chouji joined him, snacking on chips as he did so, and even offering him a taste, as a peace-offering of sorts, but was politely declined. Sakura was fighting against Ino over who could protest the loudest at the unfairness of the world.

Sasuke glared at everyone and everything. Neji glared at everyone and everything, too. Kiba looked vaguely constipated as he looked at this marvelous display of his future teammates wonderful personalities, but was quietly glad to have at least avoided the two screeching fangirls.

Rock Lee was bouncing around, trying to talk to his new teammates with what his future sensei would've declared as 'Youthful enthusiasm'. Tenten was being polite to the excited boy, whilst inviting the shy girl over. Hinata was finding herself remarkably alright with her current team, if still a bit shy to instigate conversation with them.

Basically, there were loud complaints, a few angered glares, some attempts at making friends, and Shikamaru napping – which Naruto found himself quite envious of actually, being able to sleep in all the chaos.

This was the scene that all their new jounin sensei walked in on.

Well, all of them except Kakashi. That guy wouldn't be around for another couple of hours, which would lead his future students to loathe him to a degree that he really wouldn't have guessed at.

Gai happily dragged off his own team before one of the screeching girls turned on him, Youthfully allowing his colleagues deal with their own students.

Kurenai winced inwardly as the blonde girl turned to her, eyes ablaze with indignation. She briefly considered the potential repercussions of simply using a genjutsu on the girl and then dragging her off with the rest of her team. It might save her a bit of work.

"Team 8." She said instead, speaking in a no-nonsense tone above the noise. "Let's go." Then she turned on her heel and marched off.

Damn it all, she should've checked to make sure she didn't get a fangirl on her team. She _hated_ fangirls.

"Team 10." Asuma spoke up in a calm voice that he didn't feel, because he was stuck with a screeching banshee that might make his ears start bleeding if he wasn't careful. In fact, looking into earplugs sounded like a very viable option. "Follow me."

Hopefully the two boys wouldn't give her reason to use her voice too often.

Damn it all, he should've just picked the Ino-Shika-Chou combination, that way he might be able to sneak out of training them in order to relax or something. Like a paid vacation with a few kids that'd follow your orders. It would've been wonderful.

When Kakashi finally deigned to show up, almost three hours later, two of his students were glaring daggers at him, and the third one was actually _growling_.

He blinked at the image.

What were they so upset about?

XXX

Kiba hated his team.

Of all the guys, he had to get the two most arrogant, cold, stuck-up, and in fact down-right hostile prodigies of the entire graduating class. It didn't help matters that they each had a fanclub, and were parts of the two greatest clans of Konoha, even if one of them was its only member.

All of this meant that his team would look down their noses at him continuously. And Kiba really wasn't looking forward to that.

Despite this, he got along rather well with his team.

It was shocking, how much absolute loathing for another human being can bring three people together.

Because whilst Kiba hated his team, there really weren't any good words for just how much he utterly _despised_ their teacher.

So, since they all hated him, and the other two weren't especially used to making use of their vocal cords – the Uchiha apparently believing that 'Hn' was a language – Kiba became a sort of unofficial spokesperson of just what they wanted to say. Of course, whenever he tried saying something that the other members didn't agree with, they'd gang up on him, because they were jerks like that.

Still, Kiba was slowly coming to understand the subtleties of 'Hn', even if he didn't want to, and not even the Hyuuga could bother ranting about Fate like he'd been doing back at the academy. It was just something about Hatake Kakashi that awoke such pure loathing in his students that they didn't seem to have time to hate anyone else.

In fact, the only reason they'd passed the test that the bastard had put them through was their sheer determination to make the guy's life absolute _hell_ before they even considered continuing on with their lives. In other words, nobody cared if they got sent back to the academy without a bell, as long as they got to beat the shit out of Kakashi before they did.

XXX

Ino gaped at the blond idiot who'd just demonstrated how you snuck away from ANBU after deliberately provoking them. In an orange jumpsuit.

What the _hell_? Wasn't this guy the dead-last? How could he sneak away from ANBU?

Ino hadn't been surprised when she'd ended up on Shikamaru's team, though the lack of Chouji had caused her to blink. She was fairly certain that her parents had been pushing the Hokage into making another Ino-Shika-Chou team, so the lack of Chouji had been surprising, if not entirely unwelcome.

She hadn't even been surprised when Shikamaru proved himself to be absolutely brilliant, he was after all a Nara, despite being extremely lazy. And after hearing of the goal with their team as an infiltration squad, she could understand why Chouji hadn't been included. But she'd figured that Naruto had been chosen as some sort of 'filler', that might have the slightest chance of proving useful at some point. But here he was, demonstrating evasion tactics at a level that she doubted anyone else in their class could pull off.

When Kurenai had been explaining their roles, Ino had found herself nodding along. She already had a gossip-network, the idea of managing a spy-network wasn't too farfetched. Shikamaru could make up their plans, he was pretty good at strategy. But the idea of trusting Naruto to get them out of whatever tight spot they'd found themselves in had left Ino feeling distinctly nervous.

You didn't trust your life to someone you didn't think would be able to keep you alive, and Naruto hadn't really given her a lot of confidence in his skill.

But here he was, dodging ANBU, grinning like a loon, and dragging his two teammates along for the ride.

He was, in fact, performing his role perfectly.

And as she realized this, Ino found herself grinning back. This was going to be _awesome_!

XXX

Tenten was very, very pleased that she wasn't the only female member on her team.

This wasn't because of any dislike towards boys, or even a particular fondness for girls, as most she'd met were fangirls. No, this was because as Hinata and Tenten began to bond, they also began forming plans against the Youthfulness.

Tenten liked their teacher. He was skilled, enthusiastic about what he did, and he was always willing to lend a helping hand. But if there was one thing about Gai that she would remember even if she were to go senile before she died, it was the Spandex. That and the Youthfulness.

Suppressing a shiver at the very thought. Tenten remembered how she'd actually been forced to convince Hinata not to give in to the green horror. Apparently the girl was somewhat bad at resisting the flow of enthusiasm from the two spandex clones.

Now, as she'd quickly realized just how fragile the sanity of Konoha truly was, Tenten was determined to step up and defend all of Konoha from the horrible Spandex and the Youthfulness that it radiated.

Still, Hinata was slowly coming out of her shell, Lee was learning to stop trying to get them to join his and their teacher's insanity – or get hurt by sharp pointy objects – and Tenten was beginning to realize that threatening to stab people was really quite a wonderful way to spend the day.

Gai didn't look entirely comfortable whenever she had something pointy and sharp in her hand, for some reason, but he was still happy to teach her what he knew. Which was a lot. So Tenten didn't mind.

XXX

Sakura was starting to realize just what it meant to be a ninja.

Not in the way that she now knew how to kill people in thirty different ways, and had learned to suppress all her emotions. No, Sakura was learning of the responsibilities that stemmed from watching over her teammates.

Their teacher had sat her down and explained to her just what would be expected of her in their formation.

Chouji would defend the client. Shino would uncover any attacking enemy. And Sakura was to make sure that nobody on their side got themselves injured or killed.

Her role was reinforcement wherever and whenever it was needed. Her role was what would keep the others on her team alive.

It was a sobering thought.

Asuma had gotten them all to sit down and explain their clan techniques to her. And whilst learning that Chouji could expand himself and needed more meat than what was normal, did certainly help explain why he always eating so much. The thought of someone letting bugs live inside of them gave her the creeps.

She'd apologized to Shino about her reaction, though he'd taken it in stride, and on his request she'd begun to _not_ kill any insects that she laid eyes on. If mostly because she now had an excuse to avoid touching them.

All in all, Sakura found herself being quite alright with training along with the others. She'd even given up on her diet as she'd realized that her new metabolism would just force her lack of nutrition to keep her from getting those curves that she'd always wanted.

XXX

Kiba was seriously considering faking developing an allergy for cats.

Once he'd mentioned this in his teammates' presence, he'd actually gotten a few almost sympathetic winces. Apparently, they too were getting quite sick and tired of chasing that damnable cat around every time that it escaped.

Couldn't they just kill the cat and declare war on some really small country that they'd just made up for the purpose of blaming the cat's assassination on them? It wasn't like the daimyo would check, right? And since it was such a small country, nobody would be surprised when Konoha wiped them all out within the week.

Hell, they could probably hold a festival for them winning the 'war', in which everyone could covertly toast to the damnable cat's demise.

When Kiba had mentioned this particular idea, his teammates had looked fascinated to a degree that would've disturbed him, had he not been too busy consciously avoiding frothing at the mouth in rage, for him to notice.

XXX

Ino growled as she remembered that Naruto's excuse of practicing on his henge had a far deeper significance.

Most shops wouldn't let him through the door.

She'd originally thought that this was because they were afraid he'd try to prank them, and had started out simply ignoring their glares. Then she'd realized that Naruto would never prank someone whilst on a mission, and had at one point almost stated as much to a man who she'd guessed they would get closely acquainted with since their jounin-sensei rarely took D-Ranks that didn't involve shopping for other people.

In fact, she would've stated it, if Shikamaru hadn't put an elbow into her side when she'd opened her mouth.

Shikamaru had probably guessed that it was more to it than the pranks.

Kurenai seemed to have realized it as well, and Ino had seen the normally calm and kindhearted woman twitch towards kunai whenever someone in the crowd glared at Naruto.

So, Naruto went through most of their shopping whilst henge'd into someone else. Normally he stuck to looking like Kiba, for some reason. Perhaps to make his normal behavior-pattern stick to the person he was portraying.

Regardless, Ino was rapidly closing in on the point where she'd grab someone and get them to answer why they kept glaring at her blond teammate, even if it meant resorting to those actual interrogation techniques that she'd managed to pick up from her dad.

But Shikamaru was apparently annoyed by the mystery as much as she was, and she could totally outlast his curiosity. No way was she going to lose to a lazy bastard like him.

XXX

Tenten grunted as she lifted another box.

Sure, it was a quick way to develop a bit of muscle and work on your stamina, but that didn't mean you had to be _enthusiastic_ about it.

Unless you were Lee of course. Lee had to be enthusiastic about _everything_. It was probably genetic. Tenten was working on a theory to prove that Lee was actually Gai's son, or possibly a nephew or something. The resemblance was too damn near perfect for the two of them _not_ to be related. Hell, the only reason Tenten had given up on her earlier theory of Lee actually being a clone of their sensei had been the realization that Gai actually _could_ use jutsu, he just chose not to as he wanted to prove a point to Lee.

Still, both Hinata and her were slowly inching their way upwards in terms of power thanks to all the damn training their team did, even if they'd never be a match for the spandex-clad duo in close melee.

Tenten's build was more suited for long-range support, and Hinata just generally disliked hurting people and could as such not really motivate herself to master her family techniques. Oh, she tried anyway, and she didn't give up on learning them, she just didn't have the same instinctive inclination towards violence that most ninja would have.

Unless, of course, someone hurt one of her precious people. Apparently, she'd actually landed a hit on Gai after he'd managed to provoke her somehow.

Grumbling at stupid old people who wanted to move things all over the place for no reason, Tenten set down the far too heavy box at its designated place. Then she turned back to the pile of boxes still left to move.

It would be a long day.

XXX

Sakura suppressed the urge to giggle as she watched Chouji with the kids they were babysitting.

Shino didn't get along with children, and Sakura didn't get along with children who'd developed speech – but would still gush over any cute babies she encountered.

Chouji, on the other hand, was great with kids. He had what seemed the patience of a saint – probably developed after all his time hanging around Shikamaru – and a comforting kindness to him that made the kids latch onto him for seemingly merely existing in their presence.

She was really really glad that he was on her team. This way she was allowed to stay away, despite being the 'only female' on the team. Damn chauvinistic pigs who thought you were good with the small monsters just because you had double X chromosomes.

Still, she was getting quite sick of babysitting. They'd done a few other things, but babysitting seemed to be the one thing they kept returning to. Something about it being good experience when dealing with their future clients as a protection squad.

Hopefully, Asuma-sensei would let them go on C-Ranked missions soon.

XXX

Kiba was just working up the nerve to stage Tora's assassination when Kakashi declared that they'd be doing a C-Rank next.

The Hokage wasn't sure why he'd suddenly felt both relieved and disappointed, but shrugged his shoulders and returned to his paperwork.

As team 7 were informed of the mission, which apparently consisted of checking in on a merchant caravan that hadn't shown up at its designated time, the three genin all fought down smiles.

Their mission was to make certain that the caravan hadn't been attacked by bandits, and that it'd merely been delayed by weather or bad roads. If, however, there truly had been a bandit-attack, their mission didn't include hunting down said bandits, but rather finding any survivors and possibly valuables before returning to Konoha. Though in the event of a hostage situation, they were given the choice of engaging the bandits in question in order to rescue the hostage.

The odds of it actually _being_ a bandit attack were pretty damn low, but Kakashi figured that it'd be funnier for his students to find out that on their own. Their disappointment would be priceless.

XXX

Ino had had it. And apparently Shikamaru agreed with her.

However, when they finally cornered Naruto in an attempt to find out just why the entire village seemed to hate him, he'd _shifted_ somehow.

Naruto was normally a very easy-going kind of guy. He smiled a lot, he joked more, he was nice to people who were glaring at him for no reason, he would help people out if he thought they needed it. But the Naruto that stood in front of them at that particular moment wasn't smiling, wasn't joking, and looked far more like a cornered animal than anything else.

Still, they'd gotten this far, and neither of them could truly let this affront against their teammate slide without a cause, so they'd asked him the question he'd seemed to know would be coming.

And he'd deflated. And then he'd begun by explaining that his birth was on the unluckiest of days, before asking them how the Yondaime had defeated the Kyuubi.

When none of them could actually come up with a suitable answer, other than Shikamaru's previous theory on it being a state-secret due to the power of the attack, Naruto explained that the bijuu couldn't be killed. But they could be _sealed_.

Then he'd pulled up his shirt and shown them a very intricate tattoo on his belly.

"I'm the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi."

Ino stared at him for a long moment, too stunned to remember that she was supposed to be blinking. Shikamaru had closed his eyes as he considered this new information about their teammate.

"How long have you known?" Shikamaru finally asked.

Naruto blinked, surprised by the question. "Since graduation." He responded bluntly.

"There's a law regarding this, isn't there?" Shikamaru continued his questioning.

"It's an S-class secret. None of our generation is supposed to know. They call it the Third's Law." Naruto nodded carefully, still confused about something.

The lazy boy nodded, apparently content with this information.

Ino blinked, finally letting all this information click inside of her head. Finally realizing why Naruto was looking so uncomfortable.

Almost everyone that knew of the Kyuubi, hated him. He'd just told people who didn't know, and now he was expecting them to hate him too.

It was... actually enough to make her seriously consider killing someone.

Of course, Naruto might take that the wrong way, so she settled for attempting to alleviate the lonely boy's fears.

Kurenai arrived with their first C-Rank mission – to deliver a simple message outside of Konoha – to the scene of Ino hugging Naruto, Naruto trying to keep himself from crying, and Shikamaru patting the blond comfortingly on the shoulder.

It was all very confusing.

XXX

Tenten had inquired as to when they'd be getting a C-Rank, but Gai had simply beamed a smile at her before ranting on about Youthfulness.

Tenten believed that the earplugs were possibly her single most amazing purchase of all time. She'd never use them on a mission, of course, but during training they were absolutely invaluable.

Hinata had also added sunglasses to her list of anti-Youth appliances, as apparently the sparkling teeth and the hugs were more painful than usual for someone with the Byakugan. As an interesting side-effect, the shy girl's stuttering seemed to diminish once she wore them.

Tenten had considered joining her with the sunglasses, but they'd be too much in the way, whilst for Hinata they were of no relevance once she got serious and activated her bloodline. Which she'd learn to only do when sparring, and to make absolutely certain that it deactivated whenever Lee and Gai started shouting each other's names.

There were some things that regular people just weren't meant to see.

XXX

Sakura beamed proudly at the thought of finally being good enough to get to go on a C-Rank.

Unfortunately, the smile slipped once she found exactly who they were guarding.

Apparently, the drunk old bridge-builder was traveling back to Wave Country.

Shino was stoic, Chouji was patient, Sakura kept her growls of being looked down upon very quiet. If her teammates could do it, so could she.

Asuma seemed quite pleased with how none of them had blown up in their client's face, but didn't seem surprised by it, which was reassuring. He believed in their ability to resist provocation.

XXX

"My Youthful students!" Gai exclaimed as he'd gathered them up for an emergency meeting. "A fellow ninja has asked for assistance after being ambushed by missing-nin and we shall answer their call! This is a dangerous mission, and technically above C-Rank, but the Hokage has decided that our Youthfulness would be most helpful in their aid!"

Tenten blinked. Her first big mission would be above C-Rank. That could be both good and bad. Hopefully more good than bad though.

XXX

Asuma had barely made it.

That was a sobering thought. Their sensei, a jounin, son of the Third himself, had _barely_ managed to defeat Zabuza.

And then they'd realized that the hunting-nin was an accomplice.

By the time this had passed through all their heads, Sakura hugged Chouji tightly enough that the boy actually had to pry her off of him in order to breathe. The idea of calling for backup immediately after they'd first been attacked by the Demon Brothers just made her _that_ grateful.

Had he been Sasuke, she would've probably attempted to kiss him, but he was Chouji and she couldn't really imagine kissing Chouji. Not because Chouji was ugly or lazy or whatever, but more because he was quite firmly in the 'friend zone', and he seemed happy with that.

Still, by the time their backup finally showed up, Sakura wondered if perhaps she shouldn't have overreacted.

Two of them were wearing _spandex_ in a horror show of doom. One was wearing sunglasses, that matched Shino's actually, even if they looked a bit odd on her. And the final one was fingering her weapons pouch as if she was trying to remind herself not to use them against someone, but was continuously tempted to do so.

The last one actually looked like the most competent of the bunch, which was saying something.

XXX

Kiba hated C-Rank missions almost as much as he hated D-Rank missions.

Reason number one. By the time they'd made it to the mountainous parts where they might find the caravan for which they were looking, it was raining. Hard. The road had turned into a river of mud, making Kiba very suspicious of the idea of bandits being involved in the caravan's delay, whilst at the same time making him horribly miserable from the crappy weather.

Reason number two. Kakashi seemed to have waterproofed his book, and from the way he was smiling cheerfully at their misery, the bastard had _known_ this.

Reason number three. He was still on a team with frigid bastard number one and two. This was important because he'd never been forced to sleep around them before, and his hatred for them was reaching new heights with every mumbled 'fate' or 'vengeance' that slipped past their lips.

Reason number four. He didn't mind sleeping outside, it was something any Inuzuka worth their salt could at the very least deal with, but sleeping outside in the mud, whilst the rain was coming down hard, and with their teacher chiding them whenever they attempted to build a camp of any sort with words such as 'waste of time and energy' or 'good time to get used to it', was a bit too much for Kiba to handle without risking snapping at someone.

Literally, Sasuke had spent quite a few hours glaring at him for almost biting his hand off when the Uchiha had tried to wake him up from his fretful sleep.

_God_ but he hated his team.

XXX

Ino suppressed the smirk twitching at her lips as she watched Naruto bounce around them, trying to take in everything at once. This was the blond's first time outside of the Village, and he was making the most of it.

Shikamaru looked like he was getting tired just from watching his hyperactive teammate, and was apparently trying to figure out a way to continue their missions without opening his eyes. Considering how his eyes were still open, he wasn't making a lot of progress.

Ino briefly wondered if the Nara would ever actually wake up if he one day found a way to do his missions in his sleep. She found it unlikely, at best. The guy was beyond lazy.

Still, Naruto's cheerfulness was contagious, though perhaps bittersweet, she reflected as he kept glancing back to them, his smile always widening in awed disbelief at the sight.

They accepted him. They knew of the Kyuubi, his darkest secret, and they accepted him anyway.

To Naruto, he could've been locked in a basement and told that he wouldn't see the sun for a dozen years, and he still would've had difficulties with not smiling for the first week. The relief that sparkled beneath the surface would've been heartbreaking had he not been so happy.

She wondered how many others would've followed his path. To follow the path of the cheerful martyr, the easy-going scapegoat of another's evils.

It painted a disturbing picture, actually, and she would most likely try to suppress it later. But for now, she felt that she needed to _understand_ her teammates quirks and habits. She'd berate him for them later, she'd make him better them later, but first she wanted to understand how they'd come to be.

Because what fantastic set of events could've created someone as kind, happy, and yet mischievous as Naruto? He hadn't had parents to guide the way, the only role-models he could locate were busy with their own duties. Had anyone even named a bedtime for him, or a curfew? It was fascinating to see, now that she'd started looking, just how he'd managed to pick up on things without anyone there to teach him of it.

Did he even know how to read and write? She couldn't imagine it having been neglected, but she'd never actually seen him read anything, though again that could be due to his inability to sit still for more than a minute.

He was Shikamaru's opposite in that, and perhaps it stemmed from not finding anywhere where he'd felt safe enough to just relax.

Analyzing Naruto was both confusing and horrifying. Confusing because she didn't have a clue what made him act the way he did. And horrifying because her imagination kept filling in the blanks in the most morbid of ways.

Still, she paid attention to him, and if he was a cat, Ino was fairly certain that he would've purred happily whenever he noticed that her eyes still followed him.

Not that she was listening to a word he'd said. She'd learned to tune that out hours ago.

XXX

Tenten wasn't sure of how she felt when she realized that their current mission seemed to lean more towards a field-trip to see how jounin dealt with an A-Rank, and less towards an actual mission for them.

Their duty, all six of them, was to keep Tazuna and his family safe. Their teachers' mission was to erase any serious interference that Gato sent their way.

This basically meant that they might get to fight bandits at some point, but that it was more likely that they'd stand next to the old man and perhaps catch a glimpse of how true ninja fought.

Sure, it would most likely be very educational, and Tenten really didn't feel like fighting against a potential jounin-leveled enemy. But that didn't mean that she wasn't childishly disappointed with not being part of the action.

Also, the lack of earplugs – as this was still very much a real mission – was seriously making itself known to her as she tried her best to stay as far away from the spandex-duo's... Youth.

The other team looked just as uncomfortable as she and Hinata did, but they'd managed to keep their retinas from getting too scarred by one of the 'manly hugs' and the weird optical illusion that followed. Tenten had long since given up on trying to make sense of those two and how the world worked in their presence, the closest thing she came to a belief was that the world was so disturbed by the image that it looked the other way whenever it happened, allowing them to do whatever they wanted for a brief span of time.

It would actually explain a lot.

XXX

Kiba stared at the caravan.

A part of him was happy that they'd found them. That meant they wouldn't be forced to search for them. That was good, because he was fairly sure that that would've been his job.

A part of him was disappointed, because this meant that he wouldn't get to kill something. He really really wanted to kill something.

A part of him was hesitant, because there was no way that he could be lucky enough to let them go home now that they'd found them.

"Ah, good, we'll be escorting them back to Konoha." Kakashi stated cheerfully before wandering off, his nose deep in his book.

Sasuke's face twitched, Neji clenched his fists, Kiba came an inch away from howling in anger, settling instead for a growl of pure loathing, whilst Akamaru whined pitifully.

At the pace these civilians moved, they'd be lucky to get home within the week, and the weather really wasn't looking up.

Kiba nodded to himself. "When I snap, I'm going to kill him first."

His teammates hummed their agreement.

XXX

Ino grinned evilly as she kept Naruto from running away by an iron grip on his arm.

She wasn't sure if the orange jumpsuit was a personal preference, or simply all he could get his hands on, but she wouldn't stand for it. And with Konoha being questionable in their service of the boy, it was simply common sense for them to do the shopping whilst they were still out of the village.

Kurenai had seemed amused by this prospect, Shikamaru had muttered 'troublesome' and taken a nap, and Naruto had been trying his hardest in order to escape.

Ino briefly wondered if she was a sadist at heart, or if it was the thought of playing dress-up with a reasonably attractive person that was causing the cheerful butterflies in her stomach.

XXX

Sakura groaned pitifully as she continued carrying material for the bridge. The genin had all been stuck with trying to help working on the bridge at some point.

Chouji didn't seem bothered by it, having more than enough physical strength and stamina to continue carrying around all the heavy things that was apparently needed. Shino seemed unused to it, but did quite well too. Hinata was a bit above Sakura on the strength scale, and somewhat used to moving boxes from their team's D-Ranks. Tenten was on Shino's level, but more comfortable with it. And Lee was... well, Lee.

"Oh! How Youthful Lee!" Gai beamed down at his student who was running all over the place, carrying as much as Chouji, but moving at a ludicrous speed.

Sakura was seriously starting to pity the two girls that were on his team.

XXX

Kiba tried to ignore the overpowering stench of alcohol from the woman next to him.

Their team was wading through the mud, helping people along, pushing carriages, and just generally trying to get them to move faster than they currently were.

It was still raining, and the caravan wouldn't share any of its raincoats, despite having spares. Quite a few of them also refused to help pushing the carriages, instead actually sitting down on the carriages the genin were trying to dislodge from the mud, stating that this was their job.

Some of them also got really drunk.

There were children in the caravan too, but Kiba was willing to bet that they were actually evil banshees from how they continued to scream at each other. Though, considering how their mother screamed right back at them, it was possible that it was merely genetic.

The drunk woman on the carriage threw up over the side.

On Kiba. Who'd been walking next to her.

Right. Don't kill. Don't kill. Don't kill.

With a growl of frustration, misery and absolute rage, Kiba charged.

He was tackled into the mud. Which thankfully helped numb the smell of the woman's digestive system.

As he began struggling against his attacker, Neji began shutting down his tenketsu with extreme prejudice.

Kiba got the feeling that his teammate could sympathize and wasn't so much defending their clients as he was taking out his frustrations on Kiba.

Kiba didn't approve, but he couldn't truly blame him either.

This was all Kakashi's fault.

XXX

It was odd how, despite the differencing times at which they left, all four rookie genin teams arrived back at Konoha at the same time.

Sakura was fussing over a somewhat battered Chouji as Shino stood vigilant, leaving Asuma to smile proudly at their teamwork.

Hinata was chatting away with Tenten about something whilst Lee ran elated circles around them, leaving Gai to rant about Youthfulness.

Naruto was pulling at his new clothes like a little child dressed for an important event with Ino clearly enjoying herself at his side and Shikamaru moving along like a sleep-walker, leaving Kurenai to look both exasperated and amused.

And then came Team 7, the genin under Hatake Kakashi, who unlike the rest of them arrived at the gates with the caravan they'd been sent out to find.

Sasuke was covered in mud, his eyes staring straight ahead with a glazed numbness that spoke of both mental and physical exhaustion. Neji's mouth kept opening and closing, like a fish on dry land, and his ebony hair was caked with dried mud in a way that severely defied gravity. Akamaru was being carried, tied to Sasuke's backpack in the same manner as a rolled up blanket, but didn't seem ready to object to this. And the mud-drenched Kiba was being dragged along on the ground on a stretcher by his teammates, the ropes holding him steady making it difficult for him to move enough to even raise an eyebrow, and curses bold enough to make Anko blush still flowing freely from his tongue, aimed at all those nearby. Kakashi was reading his book, and looking perfectly pristine.

Needless to say, everyone else stared.

The Hokage briefly wondered if it'd really been a good idea to force Kakashi to take on a genin team. It seemed like this would definitely cause a lot more paperwork than he'd been hoping.

Maybe he should look into naming a successor and returning to retirement? As in, before Kakashi had the time to file his report.

XXX

Sakura had been useless.

She'd expected as much, when they'd told her of their enemies' level, but that didn't make it any less of a bitter pill to swallow.

Chouji had gotten hurt, and if Asuma hadn't been there to stop it, he would've probably died. Reinforcement was _her_ job, and she'd been useless.

She needed to be faster, stronger, _better_. Because she didn't want to ever feel that kind of guilt again.

XXX

Kiba had considered resigning from the ninja force. Then he'd remembered that Inuzuka was a _ninja_ clan and that his mother wouldn't look kindly on his resignation.

No, Kiba wouldn't resign. Kiba would be a ninja. But it wasn't because of fear for his mother as much as it was that he _refused_ to let Kakashi win.

It didn't matter if he was tossed into hell on earth a hundred times, he'd get back up. It didn't matter if an enemy crippled him, he'd get back up.

Because the moment he stayed down and just took it, Kakashi won.

And he would _never_ let that happen.

XXX

Ino grumbled a few curses at her parents' idea of romance. What kind of parents ran off on a second honeymoon the moment their daughter spent a few nights outside the Village?

Damn blonde idiots.

Ino carefully ignored how she was insulting the hair color of those whose hair she'd inherited.

Still, they were supposed to be gone for another week or so, and Ino really didn't feel like staying home when it was empty. It just felt way too eerie. No, better then to crash at a friend's place.

Unfortunately, Shikamaru would shut the door in her face without even letting her ask a question – the bastard didn't want to deal with troublesome things on his time off – Sakura hadn't really been an option for years, Chouji's home always creeped her out, and the idea of crashing at a virtual stranger's house just didn't come close to being appealing.

Which was why she was currently standing outside an apartment.

Naruto's apartment.

She wondered briefly if this was the beginning of one of those silly love-comedies that Sakura had been so obsessed with, way back in the day, because the situation seemed oddly familiar.

Shrugging her shoulders, Ino knocked on the door.

Her response was the sound of something crashing, someone yelling in pain, a wide variety of curses, what sounded a bit like kunai impacting wood, another loud crash, loud pleadings for mercy, and silence.

Ino stared with wide eyes at the door.

What the hell?

Finally, the door opened, revealing a Naruto who was bleeding slightly from a cut on his forehead and was covered in dust.

"Ino? What are you doing here?" He asked as he tried to hide himself behind the door.

Ino raised an eyebrow at this action, wondering just what the blond prankster was up to.

"My parents decided to go on a second honeymoon, and the house when it's empty is creepy, so could I stay here for a week?" She asked, getting it out in the open from the get-go.

Naruto stared at her for a moment, confused, before realization dawned on him. Then he blushed, fidgeted, and cleared his throat as he searched for words.

"Umm, could you wait one moment? Awesome." Then he shut the door in her face.

Ino's eye twitched.

A loud crash came from the other side of the door, curses, yelling, cries of agony, more crashes, the sound of breaking glass, shouting, clashing steel, and finally deranged laughter.

Ino wondered if it was too late to force her way into Shikamaru's house. She could totally do that, she was a ninja after all, no ninja would be defeated by a simple door, no matter how much it'd been reinforced over the years tin order to keep it from breaking underneath the knocking of any particularly enthusiastic Akimichi.

Naruto appeared in the doorway again, the blood on his brow wiped away, but his clothes looking more torn, and he was breathing heavily.

"Ino." He stated calmly. "You're welcome to forever stay in my home, as long as you know how to get a raccoon out of your kitchen."

Ino stared.

"... A raccoon?"

"The bastard has been raiding my fridge for _years_." He spat out. "I want it _gone_."

Ino couldn't help it. She started to laugh.

XXX

"Report." The Hokage ordered calmly to the four jounin present.

It was simply common sense that he'd be asking just how the new genin were fairing in their teams and under their teachers, especially since they were apparently trying to revolutionize the system. Damn whippersnappers.

"Team 7 have come a long way with their teamwork." Kakashi started with a smile. "They've already shown themselves capable of stopping each other from making mistakes that they would later come to regret."

"Is this why young Kiba was hospitalized with his tenketsu closed upon arrival?" The Hokage asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That is correct." Kakashi said, his smile becoming wider. "I'm very pleased with their progress."

Most present realized at this point that they were infinitely happy that Kakashi had never been their teacher, because if he thought having absolute loathing directed his way in tandem by all his students at once was teamwork... well, it didn't sound like training under him would be any fun.

Ignoring the weird, but oddly workable peculiarities in Team 7, Kurenai took the scene.

"Team 8 is growing closer. Naruto has revealed his... tenant, to his teammates. They reacted well to it, though Ino seems to have become somewhat protective of him." She reported calmly. "They still have a long way to go, and their teamwork isn't always the best. But they're getting there."

The Hokage nodded, pleased to hear good news from Naruto's team.

"Team 9 is filled with Youthfulness!" Gai started his rant. "Their flowers of Youth are blossoming with beautiful enthusiasm!"

"That is good." The Hokage hurriedly interrupted the spandex-clad man's speech before he could build himself up into true Youthful Rant Mode. Nobody wanted to experience that. "And Team 10, Asuma?"

"Sakura seems to have truly understood the dangers that comes with the job, and they're all working hard. I couldn't ask for a more professional team." Asuma said with a small, proud smile.

The Third nodded solemnly. It seemed as if this damnable revolution would be taking off well. Hell if he was going to be forced to actually do this again with the next graduation, he needed to find his successor. Fast.

XXX

**A/n: Okay, so I've read like a hundred stories of Naruto ending up on a 'better' team, but they never seem to _really_ mix up the team selection, which meant that I ended up having to write a story featuring that myself. Here is the result.**

**Also note that I'm a big fan of JellyfishBlues' _Subject 014_ and that Team 7 might've been slightly infected from the awesomeness of that fic.**


	2. Chapter 2

Four Teams ch 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

XXX

Kakashi wasn't sure if he should be recommending his team for the chunin exam.

On the one hand, it would mean that he was actually _acknowledging_ them, which would horribly inflate their egos. On the other hand it meant that there was a very big possibility that they _failed_, which would allow him to lord their failure over them all the way until the next exam. And that would be entertaining.

Kakashi hummed deeply in thought. This would require a lot of careful planning.

So, as he normally did when faced with a difficult choice, Kakashi grabbed a coin, and went off to get drunk. Sooner or later he would get drunk enough to believe that whatever side the coin landed on was divine intervention, then he'd flip it.

XXX

Kurenai pursed her lips. Team 8 would be unlikely to pass the chunin exam in their entirety. Naruto was still a bit too unpredictable and inexperienced to fulfill the role – even if their training exercises had made him more likely to follow the plan – Ino just wasn't strong enough, and Shikamaru was still a bit too lazy for her to truly believe in him.

But it would be a good learning experience, she supposed.

They would get to meet other teams, they would get a chance to experience the exam whilst in a reasonably safe environment.

There were a number of reasons for their participation, not the least of which would be to keep the other teams from bragging at their own recommendations and causing potential discord between her and her students.

Sighing, Kurenai knocked on the door to Naruto's apartment.

They weren't scheduled to meet for a few days yet, but she figured that they might want the news right away so that they could get ready.

"Coming!" Came a distinctly female voice from the opposite side of the door.

Kurenai blinked. Had Naruto taken a girl home? At his age? What was going on?

"Ah, Kurenai-sensei." Ino smiled up at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question Ino." The jounin pointed out, still slightly dazed.

"Well..." She paused, glancing inside, a mischievous smile twitching at her lips. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, raccoon repellant!" She puffed out her chest in an exaggerated way.

"Worship the savior!" Came Naruto's voice from inside, and as Kurenai glanced around her student, she found the blond boy kneeling before his teammate in an even more exaggerated way.

Kurenai was now confused. Very confused.

"Raccoon?" She voiced.

"Long story." Ino deadpanned. "Whiskers over here's kitchen was infested with some kind of ninja-raccoon that kept raiding his fridge. I made it see hell, and it decided to find easier prey." She grinned evilly.

"Worship the vanquisher of the kitchen demon!" Naruto declared elaborately from the floor.

"And that's how I got a roommate." Ino nodded happily.

"Roommate?" Kurenai wondered if she'd ever stop being confused by her students.

"Well, my parents are away on a second honeymoon and I'm not staying in that house when it's empty, it gets creepy. Also, Shikamaru said it would be too troublesome, so Naruto is crashing on his couch and letting me use the bed."

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Kurenai wondered curiously.

"Unlike the rest of us, Naruto doesn't actually get a bad back from sleeping in odd positions. It's unfair, but that's life." Ino shrugged.

"Huh. Imagine that." Kurenai shook her head, trying to clear it. "Anyway, I'm gathering the team in an hour. I need to talk to all of you about some things."

XXX

Gai wasn't sure whether or not he should be considering recommending his team for the exam.

Certainly, it would be good experience, and they'd proven themselves quite capable during the fight against Zabuza and his apprentice, but he didn't think they'd be ready to advance to chunin just yet.

Hinata was still too shy, even if she'd gotten a lot better after her odd, but admittedly effective, purchase of sunglasses. Tenten was capable enough, especially for someone her age, but more experience before the attempt wouldn't be a bad thing. And Lee was... he had a long road ahead of him before he could use enough taijutsu to truly compensate for his lack of ninjutsu.

They worked well as a team, they understood each other, they supported each other's dreams.

Perhaps experiencing the exam for the first time in a safe environment would be for the best.

Nodding decisively, Gai set out to find his team.

XXX

Asuma smiled as his students ran themselves ragged in their own independent training.

They would most likely be ready for the exam whether he recommended them or not. He didn't think they'd pass it, not really, but they'd live, and they'd learn.

He was looking forward to it.

XXX

Sasuke was starting to wonder if Kiba wasn't actually a tactical genius.

So far, he'd come up with seventeen different plans of killing Tora and getting away with it. Twelve ways of ruining the lives of the caravan members without getting caught. And 41 discarded plans of killing, harming, maiming, ruining the life of, or otherwise causing unpleasantness to their jounin teacher.

The 41 plans had been discarded for numerous reasons. They would never get away with it. Their teacher would catch on to them and make their lives worse in retaliation. Their teacher was too paranoid to fall for them. They weren't good enough at breaking and entering, and didn't have enough access to burnable materials that couldn't be traced back to them.

Shame, really. Sasuke liked most of those 41 plans. They kept him warm at night.

In fact, they were almost as pleasant to think of as his own plans for killing his brother. But then, he didn't have enough imagination to come up with _41 different plans_ for ruining someone's life. Which was why a small seed of admiration for the feral-looking genin was sprouting in the darkest corners of Sasuke's heart.

Not that he'd tell anyone that. Ever.

XXX

Neji had been intrigued about their squad's qualification as 'track and destroy' once he'd realized just how much time such a team spent outside of the Village.

He'd more or less never have to deal with the Main House again. It was a dream come true. Sort of.

Then he'd remembered his teammates, and promptly stated that the good and the bad canceled each other out.

Then he'd remembered his teacher and realized that his new dream was to turn Hatake Kakashi into a missing-nin and get the mission to hunt him down.

So, when Kiba had started sprouting out almost a dozen different ideas and plans for turning their teacher into just that, Neji found himself fascinatingly humbled.

Not that he'd tell anyone that. Ever.

XXX

Shikamaru didn't mind his team.

Sure, he hadn't been overjoyed at being separated from Chouji, but Ino wasn't nearly as much of a nag as she used to be. And Naruto didn't seem to mind being used as a general attention-shield from the girl.

It was still a bit too troublesome for his liking, but he couldn't really slack off either, what with being their plan-maker. Basically, if anyone got into trouble because of his plan, it was on his shoulders.

Thankfully for his guilt, Naruto had a lot of issues with following plans, meaning that he screwed up all on his own, which allowed Shikamaru to blame him for messing up his plan, rather than Naruto blaming him for his plan failing.

Not that _Shikamaru_ or _Naruto_ ever really blamed each other. Their teacher did however, and Ino wasn't far behind. And since neither of the two boys wanted to catch their ire, they did their best to direct them at the other boy.

It'd created an odd sense of rivalry between them. They got along, they enjoyed each other's company, but when faced with the ire of a woman, they used each other as human shields without a second thought.

It was actually rather entertaining, sometimes.

XXX

Naruto really, really liked his team.

Shikamaru was a really good guy, Kurenai was really nice, and Ino was awesome.

He had access to his _fridge_! That was clearly the sign of awesomeness.

Sleeping on the couch was a bit unusual for him, but he didn't mind it, and any discomfort he felt was absolutely overwritten by the awe of having his teammate declare that she was making him breakfast whether he wanted it or not.

He hadn't really approved of the idea of his squad's qualification, what with sneaking around and talking and stuff, instead of blowing things up. It just didn't seem very fun to him. But maybe it wasn't so much what they were doing as it was who they were doing it with that truly mattered.

He was doing it with _friends_. His precious people.

Besides, he wasn't supposed to be the one talking and stuff. Just sneaking, and possibly rescuing people. And that was _almost_ like blowing things up.

Also, Ino was amazing at cooking.

XXX

Lee was overjoyed with his team.

Even if it didn't convert to the Youthfulness that was Gai, they would always work hard, and they never looked down on his dream.

Truly they were blossoming Youthfully with the Flames of Youth in their eyes.

XXX

Hinata liked her team. Despite the spandex. And the Youthfulness. And the random hugs.

She had sunglasses, everything was cool.

Hinata had never imagined that merely placing a piece of tinted glass in between her and the world would allow her to see it so much more objectively.

She didn't faint anymore. Her stutter hadn't reared its ugly head in weeks. She still blushed a bit more than normal, but she was getting better with that.

Lee was actually helping her with Naruto-immunity, even if he wasn't aware of it. They had the same outlook on life, the same drive to never give up and never say enough. Lee also spent a lot of time ranting about the Flames of Youth, which just underlined that Naruto was a lot better to dream about.

She was getting stronger, she was getting more confident, and she was starting to lower Naruto from his pedestal of Godhood onto the pedestal of Unobtainable Idol. It might not sound like much, but it was progress.

XXX

Shino enjoyed his team.

They were professional.

Certainly, Chouji spent a lot of time eating, which reduced his professional appearance by a large margin, and his female teammate had pink hair. But those were things they couldn't help. It was part of what made them who they were, and they were otherwise comfortably professional about everything they did.

They worked hard. They worked as a team. He wouldn't trade them for anything.

XXX

Chouji liked his team.

He hadn't been happy being separated from Shikamaru, and then being placed with the shrieking pink banshee, but they'd grown on him.

There was a certain admiration for the girl who'd gone from annoying to professional.

She had worked with them from the beginning, even giving up on her silly dieting once she realized that it got in the way of her training. But after Chouji had gotten hurt and she'd realized just how strong she had to become in order to fulfill her role, she'd launched herself at training with a sort of desperation that was both humbling and worrying.

He knew that she wouldn't burn herself out from the training, she was too... Sakura, for that. But he wondered if perhaps she needed to be reminded of how some things just couldn't be helped. Because you could never save everyone, no matter how hard you tried.

XXX

Kiba didn't feel particularly pleased with the way the chunin exams had been going thus far.

His teammates had responded to him being fooled by the genjutsu on the second floor by elbowing him in the ribs, _hard_, before dragging him up to the proper classroom.

Once there, he'd been forced to listen to Ino and Sakura's far too high-pitched voices, before getting talked down to by some damn four-eyed bastard who'd managed to fail the exams like seven times before. Then someone had decided that it should be a written test.

Kiba _hated_ written tests.

And if he'd channeled his inherent loathing for paperwork into cheating his ass off without getting caught, by having Akamaru to tell him the answers that he could see from his lookout, then the final question just pissed him off _more_.

The only good thing about the test so far was the eye-candy in fishnet. Unfortunately, he was fairly certain that she would try to kill him if his eyes drifted too much, so that just made it worse. It was like seeing some other kid eating ice-cream and your parents telling you that you can't have any. It was just plain cruel.

And it was all Kakashi's fault for recommending them to this torture.

XXX

Ino was a bit impressed at how Shikamaru managed to see through the illusion on the second floor through sheer logic. He hadn't gone up the third troublesome stair, so therefore he wasn't done yet with the troublesome stair-climbing, and he'd be damned if his teammates didn't have to suffer it with him.

Needless to say, Shikamaru's logic was brilliant, yet very strange.

Naruto didn't seem to mind much, practically vibrating in excitement at the thought of taking another step closer to his dream of becoming Hokage.

Things started to turn weird when Sasuke's team showed up though.

The super-cool guy that she'd been crushing on for ages. Looked... dull.

There wasn't anything she could pinpoint about him, he still looked just as pretty as always. It was just not that interesting.

Hell, _Naruto_ looked better than he did.

… Wait, what?

Did she have a crush on Naruto? No way. Totally not possible. Naruto was _Naruto_, there wasn't anything interesting about him at all.

Though he did have remarkably fluffy hair. Very pettable. And his innocently blue eyes were absolutely adorable.

But that didn't mean she had a _crush_ on him. Definitely not.

… Wait... was Hinata _glaring_ at her? What the hell? Had the world gone mad?

XXX

Tenten smiled as she spotted the rest of the rookies. That meant they weren't alone in this, and that was good.

Her smile kind of slipped a bit though when the two fangirls started... talking... or whatever it was that they called that thing where they opened their mouths and annoyances came out.

It didn't help that Hinata suddenly started radiating Killing Intent at the blonde for some reason.

That was just creepy. Hinata might've gotten a lot more confident after all their training, but she was a very sweet girl, and wouldn't wish harm on _anyone_. Even if they were fantastically annoying. And yet, here she was, radiating Killing Intent at a fellow Leaf shinobi, for seemingly no reason whatsoever.

Weird.

Then came the Kabuto-person, and the Uchiha's first question for the card collection was his own sensei.

It was kind of disturbing to hear the three teammates grumble curses every time that the card mentioned the man's skill. In fact, if she hadn't known better, she would've almost been thinking that they were planning on using that information _against_ their teacher somehow.

Kiba muttered something about untouchable bastards that should drop dead.

Okay. What had the guy done to them? Was he really so easy to dislike?

Shrugging that off before she got distracted, Tenten spent the rest of the waiting trying to keep Lee from shouting about Youth and attracting unwanted attention.

XXX

Sakura was horribly nervous.

In fact, she was so nervous that she'd accepted Chouji's offered chips, just to have something to keep her mind off the exams.

Shino's presence was proving oddly calming though. Little could shake the boy's stoicism.

At spotting their former classmates, they made their way over.

Naruto didn't ask her for a date, which was unusual, but not in a bad way, but was instead looking like he was actively keeping himself from shouting in glee. Chouji went off to talk with Shikamaru, catching up on things. Shino allowed their presence to wash over him in that silent way that he usually did. And Sakura honed in on Sasuke and Ino.

Sasuke looked just as cool as always, though he also looked a bit... angry. In fact, now that she thought about it, his entire team looked angry. It was as if someone had been getting on their nerves for ages, and the only thing they could do about it was grit their teeth and hope that their tormentor suffered a heart-attack and died.

Ino on the other hand, looked good. Calmer, somehow. Almost as if she'd grown up a bit.

She also seemed to be trying to keep Naruto's unbridled energy under a lid, with him sending the blonde the pitiful looks of a puppy that just wants to play.

Sakura blinked. What was going on? Since when did Naruto stop wearing that orange monstrosity, and since when did Ino start watching the idiot with eyes like _that_?

Mirthful eyes that were a moment away from smiling indulgently. Those weren't at all what she should be watching Naruto with. She should be annoyed by his endless pestering, shouldn't she? Ino must've been forced to deal with him everyday for months, and yet she didn't seem to mind his energy at all.

She supposed that it could be some sort of sisterly reflex that'd been developed because Naruto was such a brat, but why did she look so content with it?

It was almost as if Ino was... well, _interested_ in him.

But wasn't Ino her rival over Sasuke? The same Sasuke that Ino had barely looked at since they'd shown up? What was going on?

XXX

Naruto stared at the question sheet in front of him.

He hated written tests.

But he couldn't fail now. His teammates were counting on him.

Shikamaru was super smart, he'd figure this out, no sweat. Ino was clever, she'd probably be able to skim by, at the very least. That only left Naruto.

He could think on his feet, he could overwhelm most enemies, but he just wasn't suited for sitting down and _thinking_ like this.

He continued despairing over this for a few moments before something the proctor had said echoed in his head.

You wouldn't be disqualified until you'd been caught cheating _a certain number of times_. So, cheating was fine as long as he didn't get caught, or only needed to do it once?

Glancing over at Shikamaru, the boy met his eyes, and when Naruto tilted his head ever so slightly in question, the boy inclined his head the briefest of inches.

Yup. Cheating was the way to go.

Ino could do that easily with her mind-possession thingy, but she couldn't use it on him. None of them really wanted to find out what would happen if her arrival in his head interfered with the seal somehow. He really didn't want Ino to get hurt because of Kyuubi.

So, he needed to figure out a way to cheat all on his own.

Damn, that was going to be hard.

Or not. Naruto blinked.

Naruto turned back towards Shikamaru, holding his hand out over the table in front of him, letting his shadow fall over his paper.

Shikamaru sighed, but moments later Naruto's hand was calmly tracing Shikamaru's answers under his shadow's influence.

Teamwork was awesome.

XXX

Chouji smiled as he read the answers that the bugs were spelling out.

Shino was the most subtle one of their team. Sakura would most likely manage to figure out the questions without cheating, and Shino was using his bugs to get them to spell out a very close approximation of the answers.

It was nice, not having to worry about thinking about things, and simply leaving it up to his teammates. They were reliable like that.

XXX

Tenten wasn't fond of written tests, especially when the tests consisted of questions that didn't seem like something she'd ever be able to figure out.

Thankfully, the ceiling fans were remarkably well-polished. Kind of like mirrors actually.

Grinning to herself, Tenten uncoiled some wires. Cheating suddenly became so much easier.

XXX

Kiba hated the second part of the exam, almost as much as the first part.

The downside was that there was a high chance of getting themselves killed by the Forest or the other participants. On the upside, they got fresh air, and a chance to possibly take out their frustration on someone else.

And then the creepy Grass-nin had shown up, scattering them all with that wind-jutsu, and almost getting Kiba eaten by an enormous snake.

Then the weird nin that Kiba sincerely doubted was a genin toyed with them all, though he/she/it seemed somewhat more focused on Sasuke.

Kiba briefly considered ditching his teammate and running for the hills, knowing that there was a big chance that Sasuke would get himself killed and therefore cease to be annoying. Neji seemed to have considered this also, but had come to the same conclusion.

There was no way that they could kill Kakashi with just the two of them. So they still needed Sasuke to live.

The old plan of killing the other team-members _after_ Kakashi was dead and buried still stood. Until then they would protect their allies.

Not that they really made much of a difference against the disgusting, long-tongued freak of a shinobi.

And then the creepy nin's neck extended and he launched forward to bite Sasuke.

And bit into a blond's neck instead.

A blond who went 'poof' in a cloud of smoke.

"Run!" Another copy of Naruto shouted, as hundreds of blonds threw themselves at the Grass-nin.

Kiba didn't need to be told twice, disappearing from the area so fast that it made Akamaru's head spin.

XXX

Ino suppressed the urge to whimper as they put as much distance in between themselves and where Naruto's endless clones were keeping the snake-summoner distracted.

Naruto flashed her a brief, reassuring smile from next to her, despite the frown on his face.

That hadn't been a genin. No genin could kill that many clones without even getting a scratch. No way.

No, this survival exam seemed to have become something far, far more troublesome.

She could only hope that they got far enough away from the enraged nin that they wouldn't be worth chasing down and killing.

She poured more energy into her legs.

XXX

Sakura did her best not to scream as she watched the redhead crush a Rain-nin with nothing but sand.

So much sand, so much blood. And he was _smiling_.

If she'd known that this was what she'd been signing up for, she would've asked Asuma if it wasn't possible to stay as a genin for the rest of her career.

He'd probably have managed to convince her by assuring her that she could run the hell away from anyone too strong to fight, but that didn't really help the cold, sinking feeling in her gut, as she watched the Sand trio walk away.

Chouji wouldn't be able to eat for another two hours. He wouldn't be able to look at a rare steak without losing his appetite for over a week.

XXX

Tenten grinned wickedly at their defeated opponents.

This exam wasn't so hard, they already had their two scrolls. Now they just had to make it to the tower without getting into a fight.

Awesome.

XXX

Orochimaru killed another of those blasted blond clones.

He'd wasted hours of preparation. Everything to get that particular seal onto the last Uchiha's neck, only to have it all ruined by this blond menace.

He hadn't even been able to curse the blond menace with his Heavenly Seal, as the seal had taken form on a shadow clone that had been immediately disrupted. All that would remain for his troubles was the boy remembering the feeling of burning to accompany the bite.

He roared in anger and blasted away another dozen of the clones.

And that's about the time that his former apprentice showed up.

Fantastic.

This meant that he really wouldn't be getting another go at the Sharingan-wielder. Damn it all to hell.

XXX

Kiba hated the preliminaries.

Not only was he stuck in a tower with nothing to do waiting for two days, he kept getting interrogated by the crazy lady in fishnet about the non-genin they'd encountered during their first day.

And then, when everything was done, there was apparently too many teams left, and so they began a preliminary round. Sasuke got to beat the shit out of some easy chakra-stealing dude, Neji roughened up his cousin in a halfhearted way whilst radiating Killing Intent at Kakashi in the audience, and Kiba ended up fighting Naruto.

Naruto, who kept going on about how Kiba wouldn't have stood a chance against some kind of demonic nin-raccoon that the blond had encountered in his kitchen.

Kiba was notably pissed off at this assumption, and charged the blond boy in rage.

The blond idiotic dead-last then proceeded to beat the shit out of him.

There was Akamaru and him, against Naruto. But there were like a hundred of Naruto, and two of them. And each Naruto was actually pretty good.

The fact that the bastard would just get back up even when Kiba managed to break the original's ribs several times over, just further proved that there was something seriously wrong with the academy's grading system.

Nobody should be able to get up after hits like that, yet Naruto bounced up with a grin and a smart remark about that damnable raccoon on his tongue.

Kiba made a silent vow to find that raccoon and kick its ass. Or throw himself at its feet and ask to be taken in as its apprentice, he amended as the world turned black and he lost consciousness.

The raccoon had to at least be a better teacher than Kakashi.

XXX

Ino nodded in an accepting manner at Shikamaru's match against the Sound girl. He was good at thinking, and if you weren't able to overpower his shadow after you'd let yourself get caught, then you might as well surrender and be done with it.

He was _that_ good at coming up with methods to defeat you.

Naruto facing off against Kiba had also brought a smile to her lips. Mostly because that raccoon that he kept mentioning, now ran at first sight of her. It was something of an ego-boost.

Still, the fight against her former friend, and kind of former rival as well – she really wasn't interested in Sasuke anymore, but that didn't mean she was crushing on Naruto, no way – went a bit differently from how she'd imagined it.

Partly, this was due to a lack of interest in the oddly dull-looking Sasuke, which resulted in less insults and bragging about who would be the one to claim the spot as Mrs Uchiha. Partly because Sakura looked... professional, for lack of better wording. And partly because Ino was becoming quite proficient with genjutsu. And poisons.

Never underestimate someone capable of making their opponent see an illusion of hell, before invading their minds, and then making them poison themselves.

Sakura was down, but not before the startlingly athletic girl broke three of her ribs, and caused numerous scratches and bruises. In fact, Ino only really managed to grin at her barely conscious opponent before her knees buckled and the world turned black.

Their fight was a draw.

XXX

Tenten had developed a new dislike for Sand-nin.

The blonde bitch with the fan was condescending, cruel, and just really a very nasty person all-around. The redheaded psycho damn near killed her teammate. And the puppet-bastard was... well, a bastard.

She decided then and there that if she ever went on a diplomatic trip to Suna, she would bring with her explosives. Enough explosives to level the place to the ground, just to make sure that nobody tried anything funny.

Hinata did rather well against her genius of a cousin, though the guy seemed a bit distracted by someone in the audience.

Actually, was he glaring at his teacher? What was up with that?

XXX

The evilly vicious grin on Sakura's face when Shino demolished his opponent had been enough to make people give her a few very odd glances, but she ignored that in favor of congratulating her teammate on his victory.

Chouji's fight... well, she made a note to herself that they would need to train against such an ability in the future. The technique was odd, unusual, and obscure to levels unseen, but that didn't make it any less of a weakness if they couldn't beat it.

Her own fight went about as well as she could've expected actually. She didn't defeat Ino, but she forced her into a draw, and that was enough, that proved that she was getting stronger. She also made a note to research genjutsu more deeply, Shino and her would be the ones most likely to be inclined towards dispelling such a thing, but they would still need practice with it.

It was odd though, that Ino made no comments about Sasuke. That the eyes of the blonde girl that she admired so much were more likely to be drawn to the blond idiot shouting encouragement from the audience than the handsome boy that they'd fought over for so long.

That was odd too, actually. Naruto was cheering for _Ino_. Not the crush he'd been chasing after during the entirety of the academy, but rather his teammate.

Teammate, or something more?

It was slightly disturbing to imagine anyone thinking of Naruto like that, mostly because his voice still kind of annoyed the hell out of her. But she supposed that there might be some manner of redeeming feature that Ino might've spotted. Though what those features were, Sakura couldn't even begin to imagine.

Regardless, this technically put her one step closer to becoming Mrs Uchiha, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

She just had to make sure that her teammates wouldn't get themselves killed first.

XXX

Kiba really hated Kakashi.

After realizing that Sasuke would be up against the homicidal redhead with sand, Kakashi had told them all that if one of them got themselves killed, he'd bury them in his backyard and pretend that they'd defected.

He then showed Sasuke the seals for the Chidori, before cheerfully pointing out that he wouldn't be able to use it anyways since he was too slow and wouldn't be able to react in time to any potential counterattacks. Then he disappeared to go read some more porn.

Neji was working on his family-techniques, which usually consisted of Kiba beating him senseless as the genius wasn't allowed to move in any other way than to spin in a circle. Sasuke was trying to keep from killing himself whilst he tried to get the Chidori down to a workable level. And Kiba kept having to fend off Kakashi's weird dogs that kept trying to hump his leg for some damn reason.

Which was why Kiba's time of beating the shit out of Neji, and laughing at Sasuke as he came really close to killing himself, wasn't nearly as wonderful as it should've been.

Goddamn Kakashi.

XXX

Ino stared as Naruto managed to break free from Shikamaru's shadow by letting one of his clones Kawarimi with him.

It was an absurd way of getting out of it, but it worked, and it kept Shikamaru from slacking off.

In fact, Shikamaru was working very hard on endurance training, whilst Naruto was trying to figure out his own limit for just how many steps ahead he could think.

They were good sparring partners, Ino decided, but that didn't mean she was going to slack off.

She hadn't gotten through the exam this time, and that meant that she really needed to get through it next time, because there was no way in hell that she was letting her teammates leave her behind.

XXX

None of them had passed.

Tenten gritted her teeth and pushed herself up to her feet once more.

They needed to get stronger. They needed to get faster. They needed to get better.

That part of the reason that she and Hinata were both pushing themselves so hard might've been because there was something wrong with Gai.

He didn't yell challenges to himself, or rant about Youthfulness. Hell, if he owned a different wardrobe he might not even be wearing spandex.

Gai was... broken. He tried to hide it, tried to put up a brave front, but with Lee so heavily injured it was obvious that he cared too much.

Tenten understood, she cared too. Hinata understood, she worried too.

So they did the only thing they could think of doing.

They continued to train.

XXX

Sakura sighed slightly as she stared up at the clouds.

Shino was training with his clan, though he still made time to meet up with them every now and then. It was comforting.

Chouji was using the team's downtime to spend time with his own clan, doing whatever it was that the Akimichi called training. It was entirely possible that he was simply participating in some kind of eating-marathon.

She giggled at the thought.

That left her.

She didn't feel comfortable with spending all this time with her own family. So, instead, she'd latched on to training with Asuma with the mischievous words that Kurenai would be too busy training her own team to spend time with him anyways, and that this way he got an excuse to run into her at a training ground or two.

Asuma folded like a cheap suit.

It all came down to the amount of dirt you could dig up on someone, Sakura mused with a happy smile.

XXX

Kiba hated the third part of the exam.

Not only because he wasn't a participant and therefore had to sit in the crowd next to sweaty civilians who shouted loudly enough to wake the dead, but also because he could see Kakashi some way away with a book draped across his face.

Smugly sleeping Kakashi.

Bastard should choke on his spit and die!

Then Neji got his ass handed to him by Naruto and a hundred explosion notes, which Kiba admitted to being vaguely entertaining as the bastard had once gone on a rant about how much of a failure that Kiba must be to have lost to the dead-last. Not to mention how he got to watch things explode, which was always a plus.

Then, as Sasuke finally arrived from having had to fight off their teacher's nin-dogs, the reason so many had made it here today became clear. The youngest son of Suna's Hokage vs the last Uchiha.

It wasn't really a _bad_ fight, and Kiba would freely admit that he wasn't pleased when, after the weird sleep-inducing feathers started falling from the sky, he realized that he wouldn't get to see the last Uchiha get his ass handed to him by a living sandbox.

Kiba also found himself reluctantly admitting that he hated the Invasion _almost_ as much as he hated Kakashi.

XXX

Ino grinned as Naruto wiped the floor with that smug, pretty-haired bastard. There was something very satisfying about seeing Neji in pain after briefly recalling a few of his pointed comments about her own hair, back in the Academy.

Vengeance was sweet. The fact that the boy's oh-so-pretty-hair was getting somewhat frizzled by the repeated explosions just made it all the more pleasurable.

Ino cackled evilly and rubbed her hands together in glee.

Sakura looked at her funny, obviously wondering if she'd hit her head on something, and Hinata was obviously torn between satisfying a need for vengeance of her own and glaring angrily at Ino.

Ino really didn't have a clue why Hinata had become so ruthlessly antagonistic towards her lately, but she was starting to think that the girl needed to get laid. Badly.

Pausing slightly in her evil cackling as she considered if she knew any boy that might help her with that, Ino went through the list of boys their age.

Sasuke would never give her the time of day, so she might as well ignore him. Kiba was an ass and would most likely say something to hurt her feelings, which would just make everything worse. Neji was like her cousin or something, yuck. Shino had bugs inside of him, and was, whilst not a bad guy, kind of creepy. Shikamaru wasn't interested in anything that could potentially be troublesome, so he was out. Lee was... well, _Lee_ – shudder.

That left Naruto and Chouji.

Both were nice guys. Both were a bit peculiar about food – or ramen. Both were at least a little bit on the 'outcast'-side of the spectrum. And both were reliable. The difference was mostly that Chouji was kind of... overweight, and Naruto had a tendency to shout to the heavens at random intervals.

Hinata always looked really shy... she probably wouldn't want people's attention on her, which Naruto's exclamations were sure to draw, and from what Ino had heard she was a sweet enough girl that she probably wouldn't care overly much about looks – though not being against a boy possessing those either.

This meant that Hinata would most likely be driven up the wall in the first five minutes of Naruto's presence, whilst she would probably settle in rather comfortably in Chouji's. So, clearly Ino would be setting her up with Chouji, because she really didn't think this glaring-thing that the girl was occupied with would be doing her any good.

Nodding to herself at her brilliant conclusion, Ino carefully ignored the idea that her reasoning might be tainted by the thought of Hinata turning her glare at Naruto if she knew of his 'tenant'. It was unlikely, she was a nice girl, and the boy was allowed to make his own decisions.

Even so, the image of a blond boy with sparkling blue eyes being inches away from bolting as he told them of the Kyuubi, wouldn't remove itself from the back of her eyelids. And her teeth ground together in fury, because that was _Naruto_ and anyone who hurt him would be _dealt with_.

Had anyone been listening in on her thoughts, they might've commented on her protectiveness of the boy. Had anyone commented, she might've shoved a kunai down their throat.

Sighing angrily as Shikamaru's fight went a bit like she'd imagined that it would've, yet different enough for her to be annoyed with her lazy teammate, Ino perked up as the fight between Sasuke and the Sand-nin finally commenced.

It was cool. Not nearly as amazing as the fight with Lee, but lightning could be cool too.

And then feathers filled the air, and Ino hurriedly broke free from the genjutsu of what would turn out to be the first move of the Invasion.

XXX

Tenten stared at the crazy genin down in the arena, wondering briefly if someone had ever mentioned such a thing as _moderation_ to him at some point in his life.

Signs were pointing to 'no'.

Another explosion rocked the stadium.

Where the hell did the guy even _find_ all those explosive notes? He must've used over a dozen by now, and that wasn't even counting her suspicion that he was throwing them in bunches. The worst thing was that the match had barely even had time to _start_ yet.

Ino cackled in an evilly delighted manner.

The sanity of Konohagakure was truly a fragile thing, Tenten mused. Not only was the Spandex always running the terrifying possibility of spreading in a horrible plague of Youthfulness, not only was porn being read on its streets, not only was fangirlism still no closer to being cured, not only were kitchen-raiding raccoons considered more powerful than genin, but now it was obvious that they all ran the rampant risk of turning into cackling maniacs! The horror!

Though, admittedly, Hinata's glaring at the blonde girl was starting to confuse her a bit. It was weird.

Growling slightly as the Sand-bitch who'd taken the stage after the craters had been partially smoothed out began her dance with super-lazy-guy, Tenten really really hoped that he would 'accidentally' cripple the smug bitch.

When he didn't, but rather gave up after humiliating her thoroughly, Tenten briefly considered trying to lob an explosive note at the bitch, claiming that it'd been left over from the explosion-crazy guy's fight.

Unfortunately, she didn't think it would've worked.

Then came the fight between the sand-psycho and the bastard. She wasn't sure what to say about that, but she wasn't pleased at the Uchiha's apparent ability to mimic Lee's hard-earned speed. Though, admittedly, she could let that pass as long as she got to see the psycho burn for what he did to her teammate.

Spandex or not, Lee was her friend.

XXX

Sakura was both disturbed and awed as the dead-last seemed to have decided to bypass the differences in skill between him and his opponent by sheer quantity of explosions.

Where the boy managed to get his hands on thousands of explosive notes, numerous storage scrolls filled with actual explosives, and the idea of filling the arena with clones and then have them all pepper the boy with their weaponry, she really didn't know.

Judging by Ino's sadistically happy and evilly gleeful cackling however, his teammate at the very least didn't seem surprised.

Ignoring the disturbing thought that her former rival might be a pyromaniac with a vengeance-streak, Sakura frowned to herself as Shino's match was forfeited.

She could understand not wanting to fight an unmatchable opponent, she'd certainly encountered enough of them to know better, but to avoid a fight against someone as clinically efficient as Shino? That smelled nasty.

As she was left pondering this question, she casually observed that Shikamaru was a brilliant tactician, and that he still had some way to go with his other, more physical skills.

Honestly, she could understand why he would want to perfect his clan-techniques, but why would he avoid a wider variety of skills? Even if he were not to use them, or merely pretend that he knew them, it could prove a wonderful distraction, leaving his enemy open for attacks.

Sakura was a professional. Shino would never use ninjutsu due to his chakra-eating bugs, but he was training hard in taijutsu, even if he only used it as a last resort, a hidden ace in his sleeve. Chouji would never have the subtlety necessary for anything deeper than the basic henge, and possessed a clan-style taijutsu to which weapons would only get in the way, but he was working on other things.

They had clans, names and techniques which they had to carry forward in a matter befitting them as heirs. Sakura didn't have anything like that. She had her sensei and her teammates, and her only option of making them proud of her lay in making sure that they all stayed alive.

Shaking off the dark thoughts, she wondered briefly why Sasuke had arrived so late, and why it looked like someone had been chewing on his hair, before focusing on the next fight.

Speed, speed and dodging, and then lightning, holding lightning in his hand and using it to pierce the cocoon of sand.

Then all hell broke out.

XXX

Kiba hated Kakashi. He also kind of hated Kakashi's dogs, and he was coming to really, really dislike the living sandbox of a genin.

None of their attacks seemed to work on him beyond that initial Chidori, which meant that they couldn't actually hurt him, whilst he could hurt _them_ very much.

Naturally, Kiba was opposed to such an event, and his only reason for not sacrificing one of his teammates for their potential victory was the fact that they _still_ wouldn't be able to kill Kakashi without the entire team, and quite frankly, the sandbox wasn't really all that bad in comparison to their teacher's continued existence.

Sasuke and Neji seemed to be thinking in similar lines as they would glance at their teammates from time to time only to mutter some manner of curse under their breath and then go back to attacking Gaara.

Their salvation came from what was probably the single most bizarre direction that Kiba would've guessed at.

Naruto showed up.

Now, Kiba didn't really believe that Naruto was all that amazing, no matter how he managed to be stealthy whilst wearing frickin' _orange_, but after their run-in with the creepy snake-face, Kiba didn't really mind the thought of letting Naruto take a beating in his stead. In fact, Naruto taking a beating in Kiba's stead was something that Kiba could fully endorse, hell, he'd even bring the other guy popcorn. Maybe... Unless the other guy was a dick.

So, when Naruto hurled himself into the battle, Kiba did the smart thing and backed the hell off.

He would only get in the way anyways. The hundreds of Naruto only managed to work together by classifying each other as expendable. A classification that wasn't really inaccurate considering how quickly they could be replaced.

Kiba couldn't be replaced, and Kiba enjoyed not being caught in hailstorms of kunai, so Kiba and his team made the blond some room.

Besides, they could totally find something less sandy to beat up on.

XXX

Ino didn't like the thought of sending Naruto out on his own against the crazed genin, but she understood that she would only get in the way.

Instead, Shikamaru and her were making damn sure that nobody interfered in their teammate's fight.

There were a few enemies who attempted to breach their defense, but Ino had been working on poisons, and with Shikamaru paralyzing all of them it became almost laughably simple.

She only wished that Naruto's fight would go just as flawlessly.

XXX

Tenten, along with the rest of her team, had the unenviable task of making sure that the audience didn't get hit in the crossfire of the Invasion.

Lee was, as of this moment, classified as a civilian.

That hurt. A lot more so than she wanted to admit.

Hinata was dealing with the attackers with extreme prejudice, not even blinking when her attacks strayed below the belt for the males, but their teamwork was... off.

There was a hole, an endless opening that shouldn't be there. They both tried to cover it, and none of their opponents were dedicated or observant enough to notice that it was there, but they _felt_ it, and it only served to highlight what Gaara had done to their spandex-wearing friend.

Which in turn made Tenten hit all the harder, and fight all the dirtier.

XXX

Sakura felt her lips twitch as another attack was repelled.

They'd been tasked with protecting the Academy, and they were going to do it _right_.

Chouji easily used his impressive girth and resistance to most common attacks to batter away those already slowed down by a mixture of Sakura's traps and Shino's bugs.

She was fairly sure that Shino was annoyed at not having a chance to prove his worth for chunin just yet, but he was a creature of logic, and he knew better than to argue against still having the ability to fight back against an invading force, rather than be held up in the medical bay.

They would remain genin, and they would remain together. It was comforting, even as the world around her fell apart in the insanity of war.

XXX

Hiruzen Sarutobi stared at his former student.

He'd always known that he'd most likely die in battle when he'd taken up the Hat of the Hokage, but he really hadn't been planning on it being his prized student to do the deed.

Thankfully, he'd been planning his retirement for several months now. Ever since those annoying jounin-teachers decided to revolutionize the genin-system, for no other reason than effectiveness.

He'd already been forced to fill in more paperwork based around the rage-filled Team 7 than _three years_ worth of other genin. He hated them. He hated them with a burning passion that had at times actually made him cry – if only because he'd almost been finished for the day when their pile of paperwork was presented to him.

So, given how he'd already thought out his own retirement, Hiruzen wasn't all that horrified at the thought of facing off against his former student, even _if_ the little bastard had somehow managed to reach some variation of immortality. Mostly because he wasn't _alone_ when facing off against his crazed student.

Tsunade spat at her former teammate's feet. "This is all your fault, you know, bastard." She growled out. "I was having a great time before the old man decided that I needed to replace him so that he could retire. And even if you never showed up in conversation, I'm _sure_ that this is somehow your fault."

Hiruzen knew that it technically wasn't, but that it was better for her ire to be focused on Orochimaru than it was for it to be focused on Kakashi and his team. That just wouldn't end well.

XXX

Kiba hated memorial services.

Not because he didn't approve of what they signified – the respect for the dead – but rather because he didn't want people on their side to get themselves killed.

Memorial services was to him, proof that they still hadn't been good enough.

Interesting enough, it seemed as if all of Team 7 shared a similar view, even Kakashi. Which was only _nearly_ enough reason to try to avoid it all, just to stick it to their bastard of a sensei.

But all of them had come anyways. Because they hated memorial services.

XXX

Ino put a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

The blond had been staring with unseeing eyes at the memorial, and it was obvious to anyone who knew him that he was going over in his head everything that he might've done to help those who'd passed away.

She knew the feeling, and it was clear that Shikamaru knew it as well, as the lazy boy squeezed the orphan's other shoulder.

Kurenai was standing with Asuma, having apparently given up on keeping appearances in order to find some comfort in her man. And the three of them stood wedged in between the Yamanaka and Nara clans, Naruto having been unofficially adopted by Shikamaru's mother once she realized that he was motivating her son to train.

The Hokage was speaking, telling of the bravery of those who'd passed, of the need to move onward and not to dwell on those not with them, and about a lot of other things that Ino was too emotionally drained to pay attention to.

Naruto had proven himself capable of subduing Gaara, all by himself, but they'd been pitted against his siblings when they tried to interfere on the redhead's behalf. The puppeteer had fallen easily, if not quickly, but the wind-user had been a pain in the neck, until Shikamaru had somehow gotten the bright idea to talk her down.

Ino was seriously considering posting notes around the Village telling females to 'beware the smooth-talking Nara'. She'd even managed to get Naruto to laugh at that, despite his broken ribs.

XXX

Tenten stood with Lee, not too far from Hinata – who was out of respect not wearing her sunglasses today – but obviously not near enough to be in any way associated with the Hyuuga clan.

Gai was standing behind them, one hand resting on each of their shoulders, his face unusually solemn. Lee still walked on crutches, but he was scheduled for an operation soon that might get him back to normal.

They were all silent as they listened to the Sandaime honoring the dead.

XXX

Sakura stood with Asuma, her parents standing far away with the other civilians, noting calmly that Chouji wasn't eating where he stood with the other Akimichi.

Shino also stood with his family, apparently having lost a clan-member to the Invasion.

All three of them had been given praise for their success in protecting their own mission objective and keeping the Academy students safe. The pride she felt for that, was easily tempered by this moment.

They had done as perfectly as possible, as far as she could judge. But it could've easily been their lives that Konoha's citizens now honored with flowers.

Luck was everything in war.

XXX

Orochimaru had been killed, the Invasion had been stopped, a war had been adverted, and Hiruzen was moments away from announcing his successor.

All in all, he was feeling pretty good about himself.

Hell, he was probably going to become famous as the Hokage who introduced the new way of assigning jounin teams, the _far more efficient_ way. So he was even going to get credit for the random mutiny that his subordinates had committed against his attempts at keeping paperwork down.

Yes, life was good, and his retirement beckoned seductively.

Not that he wasn't going to get crap from the one to be named Godaime, and some potential complaints from Naruto and his grandson, but he figured it would be worth it.

Tsunade would never see it coming.

Hiruzen smirked victoriously. _That's what you get for calling me names, brat!_

Vengeance was sweet.

XXX

**A/n: I considered trying to continue this story through the hardships of the actual canon, just to see where it'd get me, but it was difficult enough to get to this point, let alone any further. Instead, there will be an epilogue that takes place like waaay into the future. Because it amused me.**


	3. Epilogue

Four Teams ch 3 Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

XXX

"No dammit! You're doing it wrong!" Neji cursed.

"If I'm so bad at it, why don't you try!?" Sasuke snarled back angrily.

"Both of you shut the hell up! You'll ruin the _Plan_!" Kiba growled out.

"What Plan?" Came a somewhat amused tone from a spot slightly to the left of Kiba's shoulder.

"Gaah!" All three prospective jounin jumped at their former teacher's sudden appearance.

"Ah, such enthusiasm." Kakashi smiled brightly at them. "I guess my worries that you might be too tired to take this mission was completely unfounded then."

"What mission?" Sasuke just barely managed to get out before he got smacked in the face with a mission scroll.

"Something about 'babysitting'. I wasn't really paying attention honestly. But I figured that since you needed a bit of 'downtime' after that 'mission from hell'-thing that you've been going on about, this would be nice." Kakashi shrugged, completely ignoring the fact that Neji still had his arms in a cast from said mission. "Have fun you three!" He waved before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

There was a silence in the clearance as Kiba mourned the scrapping of yet another plan to get their vengeance on their bastard of a sensei.

"This... This mission is for taking care of Tora's new litter... that's escaped... somehow..." Sasuke's eye twitched as he read the scroll that'd just given him a black eye.

"I-... I-I hate him... I hate him _so much_..." Neji ground out with a sort of hollow despair.

"We know." Sasuke stated in an oddly thick voice. "We hate him too."

XXX

"Shino, honey. I love you, but protecting the Village's sanity is my _duty_. I can't risk it." Tenten shook her head sadly at her fiance.

"I understand. I am not pleased. But it must be done." One of the few actually sane and logical jounin nodded with a stoic sigh.

Tenten smiled at him, then kissed him lightly on the lips before taking off after her drunken teammate. "Hinata! The Spandex is not your friend!"

Sakura chuckled as she walked over to the bug-user. "Do you think we should tell Chouji that Tenten convinced Hinata _not_ to wear skin-tight spandex on their date?"

Shino's lips twitched upwards in a miniscule way. "Already did."

Sakura grinned happily at him. "You're _evil_."

"I try."

XXX

Shikamaru sighed as Naruto continued to devour ramen at a slightly terrifying rate.

"I don't see why you have to drag me into this all the time." He complained tiredly.

"It's either this, or listening to Ino lecture you about a thousand things about girls that you never wanted to know, and then forcing you to memorize some kind of insane Schedule of Doom." Naruto pointed out through his noodles.

Shikamaru grunted as he put his face down to the Ichiraku's counter in symbolism of his utter despair at his lack of choices.

"Why did you choose such a troublesome girl?" The shadow-user questioned rhetorically.

"Well..." Naruto shrugged in an unconcerned way. "I'm supposed to be really stupid, you know?"

"You didn't know any better?" Shikamaru interpreted the answer.

Naruto snorted, amused. "Possibly."

"I thought it was because you're a horrible romantic, and that you couldn't keep her out of your apartment for more than an hour before breaking out into hysterics?" Ayame asked with a carefully constructed puzzled face.

Naruto groaned. "Yeah well okay, that might be true, but you're not supposed to _say_ that."

"Oh? Aha. My mistake then Naruto-kun." She smiled in an unrepentant way.

"Troublesome blondes. I should've known better, really." Shikamaru murmured into the counter.

"Hey, it's your own fault. There were tons of none-blondes to go and seduce." Naruto grinned at him. "Hell, there were quite a few non-blondes who didn't have homicidal overprotective brothers, around too."

Shikamaru sighed heavily, acknowledging the point.

"Don't worry though, Gaara has promised not to kill you as long as you put a ring on her finger before he's made... _officially_ aware of the baby-bump." Naruto patted his friend on the back.

Shikamaru did his best not to cry.

XXX

Tsunade stared at the chunin standing in front of her, bouncing cheerfully from foot to foot, and prayed deeply that she could've had a hundred more ninja like Tenten.

At least then there could've been enough of her to do more than merely keeping the horrible Spandex of Youth from spreading.

Jiraiya was still off somewhere in Rain, supposedly talking things over with his former student, and Hiruzen had taken up the age old 'old man' profession of sitting in a rocking chair outside his home and yelling at the children to get off his lawn.

Danzo had finally given up on his Root project after Team 7 somehow managed to inspire some kind of weird patriotic, horribly driven, sanity consuming desire to get back at their teachers. He'd surrendered after several of his operatives had actually begun to succeed in driving their teachers into deserting Konoha and then snagging the missions that was assigned to hunt them down.

Tsunade was _still_ trying to figure out just what kind of training Kakashi had been giving those three crazy bastards.

Team 8 had also proven themselves invaluable to the cause once they managed to actually infiltrate Rain, dragging Jiraiya back there to have a long talk with the clearly disillusioned Nagato.

The lot of those graduates were now more commonly referred to by the Four Teams, the proof of what aiming a squad towards a distinct goal could accomplish.

Sadly, it also ascertained that she'd be forced to continue the tradition that the Third had inadvertently started, which in return meant more paperwork.

Even so, it was impressive how Team 10 was usually asked for by name when anyone truly important wanted protection, and how Team 9 had apparently managed to make quite a name for themselves at some point during their endless fights, considering the rather substantial bounties on each of their heads.

That didn't make Rock Lee or his teacher any easier to deal with though.

Sometimes she really wished she could name someone else Hokage and just retire quickly before dealing with all of them drove her insane.

Unfortunately, Kakashi had proven his leadership as somewhat... horrifying, and so he'd been forcibly struck from the list of candidates, despite his impressive reputation. Konohamaru was still _far_ too young, no matter what he had to say about it. And Naruto was still just a chunin, meaning that he wouldn't get quite the amount of support that he'd be needing, or the intimidation factor that would be necessary to appease the other Hidden Villages.

It was perhaps, slightly saddening to realize that her best hope for retirement still had about half a decade left before being ready to comfortably swap places with her.

Still, the cheerful prankster hadn't given up on his dream and so would gladly take up the hat when the time came, even if he'd apparently gotten a bit distracted by his blonde teammate wagging her hips in front of him recently.

She remembered the scene of the fleeing young Uzumaki leading her father on a chase through the entire village, wearing little more than a bath towel. Yes, of course Inoichi had reacted with the calm grace demanded of someone in his position when he found out that his daughter had been showering regularly with a boy, without his previous knowledge of their relationship being beyond that of teammates.

Indeed, Tsunade remembered that chase quite fondly. It'd almost been worth the paperwork filed for Naruto's lack of clothing in public, random collateral damage because of crossfire, angry letters from mothers about language used in the presence of their young ones, and a few panicked letters from Naruto who'd been trying to convince her to make some kind of law that would stop all of those women from staring at his crotch hungrily.

Heh. Good times.

XXX

**A/n: Okay, there's been quite a few who've wondered at my apparent dislike for Kakashi. I would like to note that I really loved writing Team 7, and that their entertaining hatred of the world was actually one of the reasons that this fic actually got _finished_.**

**And in case you didn't quite pick up on all the couples, here they are: Chouji-Hinata, Shino-Tenten, Naruto-Ino, and Shikamaru-Temari. And I think Sakura is still technically gunning for Sasuke, but doing so very passively.**

**Below are a few scenes that I didn't quite manage to find room for.**

XXX

XXX(What of the name of Wave's bridge?)

"They named it the Great Youth Bridge!" Gai answered with a beaming smile.

All the jounin present fought down the instinctual shudder of revulsion at the name.

XXX

XXX(Ino's return to her parents)

Ino's parents had come back from their second honeymoon, and so his teammate had thanked him for letting her stay, before making her own way home.

Naruto had happily waved her off, not really considering what this meant to him.

It meant that he was alone in an apartment that he'd always been alone in. Always, until a few weeks ago.

A few weeks, that was no time at all. And yet, for some reason the home that had been his haven from the harsh glares of the villagers, had become so suffocatingly empty the moment Ino stepped out through the door.

He'd have to make his own breakfast again, which would turn out just like it always did when he attempted something more complicated than instant ramen. He wouldn't have to sleep on the couch anymore. He might get his kitchen commandeered by that damn raccoon again. He wouldn't have to methodically clean up after himself in order to keep Ino from blowing up in his face. He wouldn't have to listen to her laughing unabashedly at his sleeping hat.

It was empty.

A hollow feeling that stretched out between the apartment's walls.

Doing his best to physically force the frown away from his knotting eyebrows, Naruto made his way to his bed. Reuniting with its softness for the first time since he left for his first C-Rank.

It smelled different.

It smelled like Ino.

His bed smelled of Ino. And he _missed_ her. With a burning clenching feeling in his gut that came closer to bringing tears to his eyes than anything since Iruka had first acknowledged him as a person.

Whimpering softly, he tried to force himself to sleep. Because she should spend time with her parents. With her family. Her precious people. She'd gone _home_.

And then the door to his apartment opened with a bang.

"Naruto! I just realized that the raccoon will probably come back if I'm not hanging around to drive it off! Shit! I'm totally going to have to crash here until you find a better apartment!" Ino called out.

Naruto was out of his bedroom faster than he could blink.

She was back. She was back. She was _back_!

And if he hugged her a bit tighter than what was really proper, she didn't call him on it.


End file.
